Chronically Mistaken

"We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it"
-Rick Warren

I could kick myself for some of the things I've bought into and fell for. Ya know, if my legs didn't always hurt too bad to kick, so I suppose I'm safe. Ha.

A little synopsis of sorts about this random series of "what-was-I-thinking" moments:

Telling a gal you want someone to wake up to every morning and come home to every night sounds great but sending her pics instead of making plans is just kind of see-through. He's his own worst enemy, always complaining of how he can't find anyone to love or accept him but unwilling to open his eyes to any real possibilities right in front of his face. You can be the "shirt off your back, drop of a dime" kind of guy but uh, it's kinda hard to be that for more than one woman at a time but ya know, to each his own. Taking something you want by physical force is not cool. I think that's just general common sense. Masking pain with alcohol may be soothing for now but it will catch up to you one day and boy, do I hope someone is there to catch you and show you how to heal when it does. Oh, and by the way, I'm not as gullible as I seem sometimes ALL of the time- I know when I'm being used as a convenience. Don't act like you may want more than a friendship from someone one minute then flip it like a pancake in seconds. Little white lies, little white lies.

Whew. None of that probably made any sense to anyone but me but I appreciate the ability to journal it. All the things I've needed to voice for quite some time and even though it's not direct and I'm not actually saying it all or saying it as gruffly as I've felt it, I feel lighter. Like that bouncy feeling after a great haircut!

So, with that I *hope* this concludes my series of misadventures in dating as a single mom with a chronic illness. It's gonna take a miracle to bust this wall down again, that's for sure!

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