I did it anyway. Thanks Carrie Fisher!

My desktop wallpaper is simple but strong. It says "Do it anyway."- Carrie Fisher. Now, obviously Carrie is not the only person who has uttered those words so it's funny to accredit that quote fully to her but ya know, she was the Princess and all, so no arguing.

I had a situation come up, I was beyond blessed (like tremendously over blessed) with a solution to it today. However, it meant I had to leave the house. *queue the ominous background music* I was able to prop my leg with a pillow before I napped which took some pressure off and relieved some nerve pain I had been battling so my pain was edged off enough that I was able to get in my truck and go.

Enter the anxiety. Approaching the main road I began to feel the tightness in my chest, lump in my throat, nausea, dizziness and general "I gotta get outta here!" feeling. I did. I turned around in a hasty fashion (curbs love me!) and parked my truck right back in front of my home. Brainstorming on how to get what I needed to get handled began and during that process I began to get angry. In this case, angry was just what I needed. I finally just threw that truck back into gear and began to drive through the tears. When I approached the main road again, the song Oceans began playing and I just prayed and kept moving. I've had many moments in my life just like that and as dizzying as it is, I do try to just keep moving.

Thanks to determination, God's protection and a friend's hand to hold- I made it through just fine. I even got a sucker. Felt like a kid who'd just gone and gotten their shots. I'm totally out of spoons for the day now, so I don't expect to be doing much more than having dinner (yay God!) and lounging out with my awesome kiddo but I'm proud of me. I did it anyway.

editing to add: A kind blogger shared a comment below with a link to her post about the song Oceans and what it means to her and her struggle with panic/anxiety. It touched me so much I wanted to make sure it's seen. Go lookie.