A Spoonie's Daughter

*A note from Mama: I asked my soon-to-be thirteen year old daughter if she would be interested in sharing her thoughts on what it's like to have a Spoonie Mom. We sat down together and I asked her a few questions and these are her thoughts she would like to share with everyone...

If you asked me what the hardest thing to deal with when my mama is in a flare up or having a hard time it would be that I feel helpless. It's something she has to live with and I can't do anything about it. I wish I could help more than I do but I try my best to be there for her and make things easier. 

It's not like every day is a hard day or a bad day. We have had amazing memories made and been able to go do some really cool stuff together. I think I enjoy little moments more and know how to treasure time when those little moments happen. It's all about perspective. Seeing things differently is something I try to do but it's not always easy.

Would I change anything about the way it is? No, I would not. Everything happens for some kind of reason. I think this has brought us closer together and formed a strong bond between us. It's taught me a lot and made me more aware of the fact that so many people suffer from chronic illnesses and you sometimes don't even know. You really just never know what someone is struggling with so always be kind. You could probably go to any city and walk past some people on a sidewalk and you wouldn't even know they are sick. Not every disability looks the same and are not always obvious at first glance. 

Do I ever feel sad, angry or resentful when my mama can't do things that other moms can do? No, not really. I understand how hard it is for her and I just want her to be comfortable. I'm not into all of the same things other kids my age are so I don't feel like I'm ever missing that much anyways and besides, I really enjoy just hanging out with my mama- watching movies, reading, or even doing different things in the same room. 

I try to make things easier for her by: just being there for her, helping with daily chores (even ones I wasn't asked to do, sometimes!) and just letting her know that she isn't alone in this and I love her.

To other kids with parents who are Spoonies, just remember that your parent loves you. It probably hurts their feelings more than it hurts yours when there is something that they cannot do for you or with you. Try to remember to be thankful that you have them in your life and that you are a family that has to fight together not against each other.

*An ending word from Mama: I'm super proud of this kiddo. I'm very blessed to have her in my life. She's a straight-A student with a huge heart and is wise beyond her years. She rarely challenges me or gives me any trouble and though she has her few-and-far-between moments where it's obvious she's a soon to be teenage girl with quick wit- seriously, our only battle is her keeping her room clean. She'll do dishes or take trash out gladly but hates organizing her own room ("I know where everything is!", lol) I hope her words will encourage you in some way or if you wondered what it was like, you will have gained some sort of understanding. We welcome questions you may have.

I always heard that you can't be your child's best friend but we are definitely the best of friends and it works for us. We're a little team, she and I. 

If you'd like to share this, please do! here's a pinterest-sized image below and there are links at the bottom of the post to share on various social media as well as comment any questions or thoughts!